The Recovering Corker Column
By The Recovering Corker info@aascv.org
The phrase “He was a real corker” appears in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, in the personal story titled “Acceptance Was the Answer.” Here’s the quote with context: “The doctor said, ‘You’re not the kind of alcoholic I treat; you’re the kind I lock up.’ He was a real corker” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 409). This line appears as the storyteller (a physician) recounts his early experiences with doctors who misunderstood or judged his alcoholism.
This is a question-and-answer column written by rotating guest contributors who respond with loving care, drawing from the wisdom of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. We speak not from personal opinion, but from the shared language and spiritual principles that have helped millions of us find freedom, one day at a time. Our aim is to offer support rooted in experience, strength, and hope–not ego. As the Big Book reminds us: “We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 17).
Dear Recovering Corker,
I’ve got 15 years sober but I’m finding myself getting angry all the time. What gives?
Sincerely,
Sober and Smoldering
Dear Sober and Smoldering,
First off, well done for your honesty and self-awareness. Anger, especially in long-term sobriety, can feel confusing and discouraging, but it is not unusual. Many of us find that emotional patterns evolve with time. Feelings we thought we had already dealt with may resurface, sometimes more intensely than expected. That is not regression, it is an invitation for deeper healing. The Big Book tells us plainly: “Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys alcoholics more than anything else” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64). This doesn’t just apply to early sobriety. As we continue to stay sober, we must also continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. Long-term sobriety doesn’t grant immunity from spiritual discomfort. If anything, it sometimes peels back the layers more intensely.
If anger has shifted from a fleeting emotion to a persistent state, it’s likely time to revisit Step work, particularly Steps Four and Ten. Step Four asks us to take inventory, to look with fresh eyes at the patterns or relationships that may be fueling this anger. Those could be resentments from the past drinking days or newer ones generated in sobriety. We don’t do this to shame ourselves, but to seek freedom. The Big Book tells us to search out the flaws in our make-up which causes our failures (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64). Step Ten reminds us that this is a daily practice: “Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 84). Emotional sobriety can be fragile and requires maintenance, just like physical sobriety. Sometimes, long-term sobriety reveals deeper emotional or spiritual blockages, things that early recovery was too raw to face. Anger can also point to grief, boundaries being crossed or needed, or a sense of spiritual disconnection. It is worth asking ourselves: Where am I feeling powerless again? Have I lost touch with my Higher Power, service work, prayer, sponsorship, or the fellowship?
As we are reminded, “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85). If you are feeling spiritually empty or emotionally inflamed, it is not a sign of failure, rather, it is a signal to pause and recalibrate. You are not alone. Many of us with double digit sobriety hit emotional plateaus or experience spiritual dryness. These moments are opportunities to recommit, not just to abstinence, but to a fuller, richer, and more satisfying version of our recovery. One that includes humility, self-examination, honesty, and self-advocacy, which may include outside help from “doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds,” as the Big Book suggests (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 133).
Lastly, consider what the Big Book says about anger: “If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66). That line humbles many of us. Anger, when left unchecked, is corrosive to our serenity, sobriety, and lives. The fact that you are asking this question after 15 years shows courage, humility, and self-awareness. Recovery doesn’t end at a milestone, it deepens. Turn to your Higher Power and using the tools of our program and the support of our fellowship, your willingness will move you through this “season” with grace.
In humble service to our fellowship,
The Recovering Corker