Constants
By Judy F. Info@aascv.org
I have been attending a book study workshop for years and soon we will be finishing up our in-depth study of the 12 Traditions. Each time we have gone through the Twelve and Twelve we go a little deeper and since it is basically the same group of women, I get to witness our maturity in sobriety as it takes place.
There is one word that keeps going through my head as we finish up, “constants.” Constants are the reliable, unchangeable elements in our lives that provide stability, support, and security. When I first began noticing them in AA I felt an overwhelming feeling of being safe. That of all the changes and unmanageability in my life that was one place I could go, and the message was always the same.
Those early days my “constants” were The Rafters, AA, and Tiny Naylors. Pretty much in that order. The Rafters – the minute you started up those stairs, got your first whiff of smoke and brewing coffee, then heard the laughter… the umpire called you safe at home. The meeting would start, chapter 3, 5 and the 12 Traditions would be read (at every meeting no less), chips would be given, and then the meat of the meeting – everyone sharing their experience, strength and hope. Discussion would take place on “let go and let God,” “first things first,” “easy does it.” I had absolutely no idea how these trite sayings were going to help me find a job much less explain why I quit the job I had in the first place. The meeting would close with the Lord’s Prayer and we would all traipse up to Tiny Naylors for more coffee. “CONSTANTS.” It was no different if it was Wednesday or Saturday.
Then they closed Tiny Naylors and tore it down. Do you have any idea what that does to a group of people who rely on “constants” for their stability and safety? Where were we going to find a place that would get used to this motley crew and allow us to pour our own coffee? Of course, the Saugus Café! Not any further down the road and they stayed open late because of the bar. We had found a new home.
I smile when I think of that time in my sobriety. A number of those people I sat with at meetings and then in those booths are no longer with us but their “constants” remain with me. I had no idea what they were preparing me for. They are no longer here, just as the Rafters building is gone, Tiny Naylors and even the Saugus Cafe may or may not be closed.
What I have seen through all these years is the resilience of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship. Oh, its gone through its growth spurts and other really whacky times, but it is resilient. I just have to pick up LANGUAGE OF THE HEART and read any of Bill’s writings. He prepared for this resilience in the 12 Traditions, the General Service Conference and the General Service Board.
I go back to my original definition of “constants” – unchangeable elements in our lives that provide stability. Nothing has changed yet everything has. My new haunt is Lily’s Café. I go in frequently by myself, and surprise, surprise run into people I know having a cup of coffee and working with a newcomer or sponsee.
As I have learned just recently, the most important constant in my life today is a loving God as I understand Him. In trusting Him I learned that I would just have to drive a little further down the street to My Rafters AA Group. The outside was different but inside where the people were was the same. In trusting him I was going to be able to walk thru some of the scariest moments of my life, have people holding me up but in that moment it was just him and me.