Tradition Three is on Eligibility

by Doug W.

Tradition Three: The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

When we identify as an Alcoholic, in a meeting, we state, “I am (using my first name), and, ‘I am an alcoholic.’” We can be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous if we are making an effort to stop drinking. You determine that you are an alcoholic, not a friend, co-worker, boss, partner, or the legal system. There are five cases in the Big Book where you can decide for yourself if you really identify as an alcoholic. Read the entire Doctor’s Opinion, focus on Roman numeral page xxx. 

When you say you are a member of A.A., then no one can refuse you access to the rooms. Some meetings may have type restrictions, such as gender, but all meetings fall into two types, Open and Closed. An Open meeting is open to anyone to attend (only alcoholics share) and Closed, where you must identify as an Alcoholic to attend. That is it. For example, old folks can go to Young People meetings. Felons can attend meetings, a constant relapser, and moms with small children. Each group can decide how inclusive they are, such as allowing children to attend. Children cannot attend a closed meeting because they are not alcoholics. 

If the “vibe” of the meeting is making you uncomfortable for any reason, choose another meeting. In the Santa Clarita Valley there are 165 meetings to choose from. Meetings can be in-person and on-line. Find your tribe.

Every member of A.A. has some thoughts on whether you qualify to be a member. They will be violating Tradition 3 if that view becomes the Group’s Conscience. Every member is on a journey from being very sick, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to getting well. Often, strong personalities are expressed. We should try to stay in Step 12, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. Look for the similarities instead of the differences.

When, I first came into the rooms, I often thought of the Groucho Marx joke. “I could never belong to an organization that would have me as member.” If you consider yourself, a weirdo, shy, awkward, a loner, a hot mess, you are always welcome in the rooms.

Tradition Three: The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

1. In my mind, do I prejudge some new A.A. members as losers?
2. Is there some kind of alcoholic whom I privately do not want in my A.A. group?
3. Do I set myself up as a judge of whether a newcomer is sincere or phony?
4. Do I let language, religion (or lack of it), race, education, age, or other such things interfere with my carrying the message?
5. Am I overimpressed by a celebrity? By a doctor, a clergyman, an ex-convict? Or can I just treat this new member simply and naturally as one more sick human, like the rest of us?
6. When someone turns up at A.A. needing information or help (even if he can’t ask for it aloud), does it really matter to me what he does for a living? Where he lives? What his domestic arrangements are? Whether he had been to A.A. before? What his other problems are?

From SM F-131 Guide is some insights and thing we should review personally. Copyright © AA Grapevine, Inc. (SM F-131 ) Reprinted with permission.