Spring Cleaning as a Newcomer
Akeem A.(rashinatkinsonperez@gmail.com)
The month of April and experiencing the 4th step. The 4th step was and continues to remain one of my most important steps and an assessment of myself. Before the gift of sobriety I was unaware about anything pertaining to a fearless and searching moral inventory of myself. The only thing that was accounted as inventory was the number of drinks I drunk and if exceeded that limit will I have enough for tomorrow when I sober up. The strange of obsession of my own mind.
As I was writing this I decided to research the word April in my Latin Dictionary it translated the word to mean “To Open.” Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness were going to be my keys to growth. My experience with the 4th step was exactly as defined. As a newcomer it took a lot of humility and honesty to be Open for a moral inventory.
As April in the season of spring this month signifies renewal, growth and new beginnings. For years of my alcoholism I suppressed my own Freedom from Fear. I was afraid of the “What If’s.” What if I reveal my secrets and the truth comes and hurts me. Another part of the delusion that secrets are meant to be kept secret. Which was not true. The truth was that I revealed my deepest and sometimes darkest secrets the promises specified in pages 64-70 in the Big Book that I would be given the reward of experiencing emotional and mental change. My Perspective would change. And I would gain Freedom from Fear.
With the months and days counting of my sobriety I can honestly and openly say my God of my understanding as well the gift of experiencing these 12 steps; the 4th step has given me a gift as a newcomer of newfound freedom from fear and a another day of renewed growth. The 4th step was my “Spring Cleaning.”